


you're everything I had (and now I lost that too)

by Stars_dreaming (orphan_account)



Series: 88 MCU drabbles and oneshots [53]
Category: Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Canonical Character Death, Character Death, Crying, Death, F/M, Grief/Mourning, IF YOU READ THIS AND YOU HAVEN'T WATCHED ENDGAME YET, Spoilers, Tears, You Have Been Warned, endgame spoilers, go away, turn around
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-28
Updated: 2019-04-28
Packaged: 2020-02-08 19:05:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18629419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Stars_dreaming
Summary: The sun goes down and they're still on the roof, this time standing at the edge with their fingers laced through each other.Erin looks up at the pink and purple skies.No matter what happens, she thinks, the world will keep turning.





	you're everything I had (and now I lost that too)

**Author's Note:**

> You have been warned. If you're still here and you haven't watched Endgame yet, turn the fuck away. This contains MAYOR spoilers, okay? 
> 
> SPOILERS FOR ENDGAME
> 
> MAYOR SPOILERS 
> 
> SPOILERS FOR ENDGAME
> 
> I'm going to repeat it. You have been warned. If you read it still and you haven't seen the movie yet, that's not my problem okay?  
> I explicitly said that you shouldn't read it. 
> 
> For those who have watched it, I share your emotions, whether they be happy or sad.

Peter steps out of the classroom. He is still in a daze - his thoughts were swirling inside his head. 

Mr. Stark is dead. Gone. 

He sacrificed himself for the world and now he is... just gone.

And there is nothing, literally nothing, that could ever bring him back. 

Around him, children are laughing and chatting with each other and he wishes he could be like that too - brought back to life and enjoying it. But he can only think about Mr. St-- Tony. The world may be saved and they might have won from Thanos but it still feels like he lost. 

 

He turns around and his eye catches Ned standing a little further away. Ned is wearing a hesitant smile and waves at him. Next to Ned stands a girl with a familiar face. She isn't smiling and from where he stands he can see the hurt in her eyes. 

He makes the quick decision to walk to them. Ned greets him with their handshake but no words, while Erin can only look at him. 

"Are you okay?" She mouths, and he doesn't respond. She knows the answer already. 

She was there on the battlefield, next to him, when Tony blew out his last breath. She was there to gather him in her arms and she stroked his back and whispered in his ear that it was okay to cry. 

He swallows away the lump in his throat and lets Ned clap him on the back like Tony used to do. They walk away, away from the happiness and into silence and he knows that at this point, nothing can save him from falling into a dark pit of despair.

He'll try, though. He will try to live. For Tony. For all those who lost. 

 

 

Much later in the evening, he's sitting on the roof of a building, looking out at the city. He's wearing his suit but is in no mood to do anything and he knows that Deadpool and some of the others he met are already on it. 

Something flutters behind him, like wings, but he doesn't turn to see who it is. 

Erin sits down next to him, her legs dangling over the roof like his. She doesn't speak and only grabs his hand. 

They sit in silence for a while as she caresses his hand with her thumb and they look at the lights of the city together. 

 

"I tried to save him," she eventually says. Her voice is thick with sadness and he knows she's about to cry - the tears are burning in his eyes too. 

"I really, really tried. I guess this was how it was meant to be. Only one in fourteen million times we could win. Maybe his sacrifice was necessary." 

"He had a daughter," says Peter and a tear rolls down his cheek. "He had a family." 

"He did," Erin agrees. Tony's family was more than just his daughter and his wife. He had the Avengers too. And Erin. And Peter. And so, so many more.

She wraps an arm around him and that's when he gives in. He starts crying, outright sobbing and she pulls him away from the edge of the roof and lays down on the cold, hard ground. He curls up against her and clings to her as if she were his last lifeline - and maybe she is - and she just tugs him closer and presses her lips to his forehead. Her warm hand draws soothing circles on his back and he sobs again. 

"I- I know we won-- we did so much, bu- but... it feels like I lost..." he croaks. Erin sighs. "I think we did lose," she mumbles. "One way or another. The battle may be won but we lost too much for that to be realized. And that's okay. We have a new beginning, thanks to Tony. And we will never forget the sacrifices he made." 

They stay silent after that and Peter lets himself loose and cries and cries and cries until there are no more tears left. 

 

The sun goes down and they're still on the roof, this time standing at the edge with their fingers laced through each other. 

Erin looks up at the pink and purple skies. 

No matter what happens, she thinks, the world will keep turning. She just has to make sure Tony's sacrifice will never be forgotten. 

"I miss him," Peter whispers next to her. She looks at him. He looks ragged and tired and he knows as well as she does that he's in no position to save the city for the coming months. 

Erin smiles her teary-eyed smile and caresses his cheek. "Me too," she confesses. "But we're going to get through. Together." She squeezes his hand and turns her face towards the horizon again. 

 

 

"I love you," Peter says a few days after. They're standing in an alcove in school, their hands clasped together and bodies flush against each other. 

Erin doesn't smile. She only remembers Tony's whispered words and her heart breaks because she knows she's never going to get those back. 

 _"Cherish those memories, Erin,"_ she hears Tony say.  _"And love him as hard as you can."_

 

A beat of silence. 

 

"I love you too."

**Author's Note:**

> I think I cried for a good fifteen minutes after Tony died. I can't believe it had to end like this, but it makes sense. He was the base of the MCU and now that he's gone, it all closes and comes to an end. 
> 
> These movies shaped my childhood and I am so grateful that Marvel created these characters that I will forever keep in my heart. This is a goodbye for me.  
> I'm not going to stop writing fanfiction about this - mostly because I think the raw emotions and loose strings left at the end are something that can be used to create beautiful things.  
> Thank you, Marvel. Thank you to all the actors. Thank you to Stan Lee, may he rest in peace. 
> 
> I can't look at anything with Tony's name on it without bawling so this was difficult to write for me.
> 
> But that's what fix-its are for, right?
> 
> Kisses,  
> Dream


End file.
